BY BLAINE MCLAREN
I am not really sure who asked for a remake to the 1974 film Vampyres, but someone did it anyway. Why someone would revisit this sleazy classic is beyond me, but I was happily surprised at how this film turned out. What we got was a trashy, but wonderfully shot story of vampires. Sexy, lesbian vampires who have some sort of plan that does not really much make sense. Lets be honest, who cares, I just said sexy lesbian vampires and that should give you an idea what you are in for.
The film begins with two beautiful women who are vampires living in an English estate. Just feeding on travelers and holding a middle aged man hostage in their basement. Once three young adults accidentally set up camp on their property, the blood thirsty couple is disrupted and forced to start feeding on these interlopers. Will these uninvited guests compromise the vampire couple’s twisted lifestyle? Maybe, but they wont go without a very (very!) sexy fight.
I have a hard time not cracking jokes while discussing this film’s plot, but where this movie lacks in story it makes up in tone. Very few filmmakers could capture the tone of an old Jess Franco film, but Victor Matellano did. Between graphic sex and/or murder scenes, we are treated to beautiful scenery and the production value of a more expensive film. The capturing of this era does have its sour notes though. On top of nailing the vibe, it also nails the pacing…which is slow. Whenever characters are clothed (or not bound to posts in a makeshift dungeon) the film grinds to a painful halt. There is very little investment to be made in these one-dimensional villains and victims. But, who really gives a shit…there are lesbian vampires and loads (and loads) of blood. This may not win any major awards, but it is a fun way to spend a buzzed Saturday night. VAMPYRES IS CURRENTLY AVAILABLE ON VOD AND DVD http://www.artsploitationfilms.com/film/vampyres/