ATTACK ON TITAN PT.1

I was curious about this film.  After attempting to watch the anime about three times, I eventually gave up and decided to just wait for the film.  The anime series seemed intriguing enough but just didn’t grab me.  I am sure that the show is as smart and entertaining as my friends say, but after seeing the film I find that hard to believe.  I dare to say that this could be a strong contender for worst film of 2016.  To put it plainly, its piss-poor and lazy.  From the uninspired monsters to the score that was a horrid combination of old fashioned Hollywood melodrama and laughable hard rock.  The actors hardly show up and the ones who do wouldn’t be fit for your local high school’s production of A Christmas Carol. Did I mention how thoroughly shitty this movie was?

Before I complain even more about the 90 minutes and $11 that were stolen from me tonight, let me attempt to describe the story.  We get an info dump about giant, man-eating monsters that live beyond the walls of the city.  These monsters are called Titans.  No one knows who they are, where they came from, etc…  We are then introduced to a handful of indistiguishable characters; a girl and 2 boys.  I am pretty sure that they have some kind of love triangle, but the writers didn’t care, so neither did I.  Out of nowhere, these Titans show back up and eat the city.  After this event we jump forward in time and the city is planning an assault to stop the monsters and reclaim the city.  After this setup its just a montage of sappy lines and quick edit battles that amount to nothing.

I am so disappointed by this film.  My hopes were to see a crazy, action film full of monsters and instead I got a cheap cash in.  There was no effort or care put into this production.  There might be a great film buried in this heap, we just need someone with a little passion to breath life into this colossal failure.   Attack on Titan is currently in limited release.

1/5 STARS

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